Loyalty
by Sparrowfeather1
Summary: Remus visits Sirius after he is released from Azkaban but Sirius is still dealing with the realization that nobody, not even Remus, believed in his innocence. Remus X Sirius Love! Slash!


**Disclaimer: I don't know any of these characters, the awesome JK Rowling does.**

**Had to reload due to computer being evil :(**

**Remus' POV**

I couldn't remember a time I had been so nervous. It had been weeks since the incident in the Shrieking Shack and after that night Sirius hadn't responded to any of my owls, practically severing me from his life and after thirteen years of believing him a murderer that really hurt.

I sat on the couch at Grimmauld Place, waiting. It was getting late and I knew Sirius would be awake any moment now. Sharing a dorm with him all seven years at Hogwarts made me privy to his sleeping habits. As if on cue I heard the old staircase creaking, turning around I saw him. Sirius Orion Black. Hid hair was disheveled from sleep and his back alley clothes wrinkled but overall he looked loads better then the last time I saw him. The sleep was quickly evaporating from his eyes as he registered my presence.

"What are you doing here?" the cold edge in his voice felt like a physical blow to my guy.

"I came here to see you Padfoot" I said, a bit more uncertain now.

"Don't call me that!" Sirius growled clenching his fists, "Only my friends can call me that!"

"We are friends" I said softly, this was definitely not how I expected this meeting to go.

"Get out of my house Lupin" Sirius went into the kitchen, presumably to make breakfast for himself.

"Why are you angry with me?" I followed him with the type of determination I hadn't felt since my youth. I jumped as Sirius slammed a pot down on the countertop. I of corse had seen Sirius angry but never this much of his rage been directed at me.

"How can you even ask that?" he whispered, voice shaking with unrestrained fury. "You're supposed to be the smart one, well look where those smarts have gotten you. You're head has been so filled up with useless trivia you've forgotten what really matters. Friendship, love, LOYALTY!"

"What are you going on about?" It wasn't out of the ordinary for Sirius to make no sense but at least as children, I had James to translate for me. Maybe Azkaban changed him more then I realized.

"Of corse you don't know! How could you!" Sirius barked out a strangled laugh "After all I'm just a raving mad murderer. Why listen to me?"

"Sirius…you're not a murderer…"

"Oh? And what makes you think that?" he took a dangerous step towards me.

"You saw Peter as well as I did."

"Ah of corse your eyes told you that." He rolled his own eyes and pranced around the kitchen "Your eyes! Your eyes! Not your heart! What did your heart say all those years I was locked away alone with only the Dementors to play with? Oh yes!" he snapped his fingers. "Your heart said he's a murder! Sirius Black is a bloody murderer who killed his best friends! You had no faith in me Lupin."

"That's what this is about…" I said, feeling sick as his words registered in my brain.

"Of corse that is what this is about!" Sirius growled.

"I didn't know, everyone thought-"

"You're not everyone! You were my friend! Not like Peter was my friend, you were…I…" Sirius' voice cracked and I realized that I was seeing him break, completely and totally break.

"Padf-" I reached out to him but he slapped my hand away.

"I told you not to call me that!" he barked angrily but I just advanced on him, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

"God Sirius I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I whispered, tears filling my eyes. "I just I didn't know what to think. James and Lily they were just gone like that! And Harry was taken to the Dursleys, I tried to get him. I begged Dumbledore to let me take in Harry but he insisted that he go to blood and then you were gone too and everything people were saying…it-it was just to much and I lost faith in everything, in everyone…"

"I thought that you of all people would have believed I was innocent." Sirius said quietly, relaxing in my arms and even returning the embrace. Our heads rested on the others shoulder as we held each other softly, wallowing in our mutual grief for our lost friends and our lost years.

Maybe it was the relief of knowing for sure that Sirius was innocent or the way his hair smelled pressed against my cheek or it might have just been the way we held each other, the emotions rippling through the air like static electricity. I whispered the words that have been on the tip of my tongue since fifth year.

"I love you Sirius" I tightened my grip around his waist "I love you, I fancy the pants off of you, I have for so long and I just…I couldn't bring myself to hope you were innocent because if you were innocent and I knew it I-I don't think I could have gotten by…" I felt Sirius stiffen within my grip but I just plowed on. "I let myself hate you, I let myself feel betrayed and tried to let the hate and anger bury the love but it didn't work and then I felt guilty. God Siri you have no idea, even after everything everyone said you did I still loved you. Even though I had convinced myself that you killed Lily and Prongs I still loved you and I felt so sick with myself so I buried it under more hate until I was able to put the love to the back of my mind but it was always there…always lurking in the back of my mind. Id dream about you some nights, holding you, kissing you, making love to you and I felt like I betraying our friends a-and knowing that you were innocent, that whole time you really were innocent, makes me feel even worse and I know that hearing all of this probably makes you hate me more and I really don't want you to hate me more. I hate it that you hate me but after everything you went through I guess you deserve to hate me and-"

I was silenced by lips crashing into mine. It took me a second for the reality to sink in. SIRIUS WAS KISSING ME! As soon as I realized it, I began to kiss back, it was amazing and electrical, better then I ever expected. It ended all to soon when we had to part for air minutes later.

"I see in thirteen years you haven't lost your babbling habit." Sirius panted.

"Nope, I guess every time I start you'll have to shut me up."

"I suppose it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." He smiled and my heart melted.

"So I'm forgiven Sirius?" I smirked.

"Hey, that's Padfoot to you!"

"Well then _Padfoot_, we have thirteen plus years to make up for." I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Yes yes, why waste anymore time? We have more important things to be doing." he pulled me into another one of his amazing kisses.

**…...**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**


End file.
